Lately I feel like I have been held to unexpressed desires of other people; at work, at school and at play. This has been very frustrating as I try to plan my individual life, because in order to please these people I have to engage in some sort of mind reading, I feel I am a pretty good reader of persons however, every now and again something slips by and I find myself being held responsible for things other people think I should be doing. So.... remember that if you have something you wish for someone to do, communicate it. Until you inform them of it, your desire remains only a wish upon a star, and there is no ground to hold them accountable for it.
Two Disclaimers
1. I understand that I am probably also an offender in this regard. I promise I'm trying my best not to be.
2. There are certain instances where tact and a withholding of some of these desires is probably good, and healthy for the relationship. Romantic relationships for example often require the suppression of the urge to divulge such desires for the sake of banter and the courtship, or to avoid serious offense. Notwithstanding, there are certain instances where you should take a page out of Harold Crick's book at just say it "I want you, in no uncertain terms" maybe not with those words, but with that feeling and candor.
posted by D Smith @ 9:15 AM
2 Comments:
to some degree, i know how you feel. and i can't believe i just said that phrase, because i do not like it when people say that to me. but in this case, i feel ya. so how about hanging out with me when i'm in provo next week? there. i said it. this is no longer a wish upon a star. (p.s. i like that you used that phrase.)
Well put. Communication is a fascinating subject. I might have to make a study of it.
I think it's just a matter of finding a working model, and that almost invariably includes clarity on the part of the communicator and an understanding of where the other person is coming from.
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